free web tracker soliloquies: nori


so・lil・o・quy/- n. [C,U] a speech in a play in which a character talks to himself or herself, so that the audience know the character's thoughts.

Friday, November 04, 2005


I can't keep up with everyone who decide what they want to do with a random emergence of "nori" inside their minds.

In a way, they are like American teens...of course, this is a stereotype I have within my mind from the images I get from American TV shows and movies, but this explanation is probably the most understandable one I can think up of.

Like these images drawn in these medias, college students here do crazy stuff without thinking about the consequences that will arise afterwards. This could be anything minor from fatigue to more serious things that are punishable by law. I haven't met anyone who actually do stuff that are illegal or that are completely off...yet. Either way, why can't I find anyone who seeks out deep into the future to do something more constructive or meaningful?

College period for most people, is one of the most free and exciting periods of one's life. Anything is possible...if you are economically powerful enough. You have a lot of spare time you can spend on to achieve wonderful goals. There's this feeling within me, telling me that I'm not doing anything precious or satisfying lately, playing around frequently and wasting money on things that aren't really significant to me in anyway.

While my instinct is telling me to be mature and cool, on the other hand, this characteristic will make it a lot more difficult for me to make friends, especially when there are only dorks and idiots around me. I'm supposed to be in the most prestigious private university in Japan and the reality is this. Where are all the motivated, smart people? There supposedly are around 10,000 people on my campus. Those types are nowhere to be found.

I miss last year when I was able to work together with great, mature partners to build up and complete our "project". Sure, it was just an attraction we made up for our school festival, but the process, technique and efforts we put in were just fabulous.

Maybe the past two sentences are the clear explanation to this dilemma I'm going through. A lot of people who had went through tough times, studying for the entrance exam last year were probably unable to have as much fun as I did last year. They are probably in a state of rebound, enjoying immaturity and craziness...things I experienced last year, now. Time could be the solution to this problem. In fact, one of more mature friends I found in college is from Keio High, a high school that is administrated by my college.

I wish I can find or be given a chance to build up something I can be proud of in the future...soon.


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