free web tracker soliloquies: uninterest


so・lil・o・quy/- n. [C,U] a speech in a play in which a character talks to himself or herself, so that the audience know the character's thoughts.

Thursday, March 16, 2006


This state of lack of interest has got to stop. Even since I left behind all my worries and anxieties in New Jersey as a result of a fresh, carefree relationship I was able to experience there, I had been really cool and uninterested in people that surround me. Sure, I hated interference and I still do now, but I haven't been this uninterested in human relationship ever.

For example, whenever I saw stuff that were really profound on blogs, mixi diaries and/or MSN, my network of nerve cells inside my head popped up all these hypotheses and conjectures that kept my thinking all night long. But now, no matter how many times I witness an apparent "data date" on MSN between some people whom I know, I don't really give a shit anymore. Yes, I've heard that they've got a decent relationship going on in between them, it's non of my business after all, as long as they don't spread the news with me. I feel so left out from the world, the world I believed was filled with trust and good relationships. Nevertheless, these guesses all derived from my imagination, so the trustability of this "fact" is uncertain.

Anyway, this state of consciousness has significantly eased my nervousness and unnecessary competitiveness, rivalry I had against others ever since I began worrying about the timespan I had been stuck in this "pit hole" and my unsuccessful evacuation attempts out of it. However, as a result, a completely new concern regarding this matter. My unwillingness to do so.

Well, life probably is full of hills in which he/her must discover ways to overcome. This probably is one of those hills I ended up in at this time period of my life. As for now, I'm feeling fantastically well and I wouldn't give a shit.

For now, I still enjoy the epilogue of my trip to New Jersey, watching FRIENDS, listening to music and reading The New York Times Bestseller I got off amazon. State of Fear is quite interesting...I like the way how a lot of American thrillers are written with agility. The plot opens up one after another with a great tempo. I can't wait to finish this 600+ pages long masterpiece, by Michael Crichton. Bye for now.


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