free web tracker soliloquies: to vatican and back


so・lil・o・quy/- n. [C,U] a speech in a play in which a character talks to himself or herself, so that the audience know the character's thoughts.

Friday, March 24, 2006

to vatican and back

Before, in the days of The DaVinci Code, I had made countless round trips between Paris/London and Japan through an exciting, world famous bestseller by Dan Brown. Now, instead of Paris and London, I am making warps into Citta Del Vaticano or Vatican City through Angels and Demons; a novel starring a team of Dan Brown, the author and Robert Langdon, the main character.

This novel, like The DaVinci Code, introduces Robert Langdon, a Harvard symbologist who is brought into an adventure from a single phone call. Unlike The DaVinci Code where he takes a greater, more important role in the plot, I felt that his existence is a bit more vague in Angels and Demons. Nonetheless, the novel is as exciting as The DaVinci Code and the author's imaginations, loosely based on factual organizations and locations really impress me. What's more, the novel's an exciting material to read.

Other than the plot which I really favor, I just adore Robert Langdon's character, especially his inner thoughts that are expressed with italic letters in both novels. He is played by Tom Hanks in the filmization of The DaVinci Code and I am interested in how his character is described and acted out by Tom Hanks in the movie. I deeply anticipate the film as well. It's worldwide premiere date is set for the 20th of May.

I just can't wait, but for now, I will situate myself in The Holy See and will keep myself busy, following Langdon's adventure though my own perspective.

Enough introduction. What is this feeling that flows deep inside me, a sense of distrust that is haunting me most of the time whenever I am in this country? Because of a strong, PC repellent I have on now, I don't feel like specifically writing it all down here, but why can't I feel happy at the bottom of my soul? Is this the root cause of my uninterest I talked about?

Sure, like all people, I too am in a pursuit for knowledge, sharing relationship where people are bonded together through trust. For some reason, I always feel left out. It always seem like everyone's got this common knowledge they share within them, without me. But when I have the will of leaving this country sooner or later to find a relative happiness which I don't think I can't find here, then human relationship here will not have much value. Seriously, what good is it to put my effort in something I won't find much value in?

Nevertheless, whenever corporate executives or that sort of people make a speech about his/her lives, they almost always praise and insist how invaluable good human relationships are. Is this an universal fact or did the era change? Is it worth it for me to continue on my attempt to "peel other onions' skin"? Is it worth it for me to feel used for giving service and being open?

This probably is one of those things men can never understand. It's always great to question though...right? I always try to solve problems on my own, but this is something I can't really do anything on. I know being foreign in this mediocre land will only make my unhappy, but this is me. Like I said, I can't do anything about it.


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