free web tracker soliloquies: 05/08/2005 - 05/15/2005


so・lil・o・quy/- n. [C,U] a speech in a play in which a character talks to himself or herself, so that the audience know the character's thoughts.

Sunday, May 08, 2005


In this nation where other's satisfactions are greatly regarded over your own personal opinions, actions taken without consideration towards society are a taboo. When these actions are taken, you are most likely spurted out of the "core", giving yourself a miserable time alone where creation of valuable, irreplaceable friends is an impossible task.

In other words, we can say that the majority of this nation wears a "mask" over their own feelings. People often lack confidence toward their opinions, creating a situation where people are unable to express their own feelings. This condition creates an endless chain of compromise. By killing their own beliefs, people successfully discover their identity inside others, creating loosely linked groups with apparent friendship. But can these groups actually be considered "best friends"? I doubt it. How many of you can actually give an advice that goes against your friends’ opinion? I would, if I have the need to do so.

On other thought, do people actually have the leeway necessary for advices within their hearts? This too, I doubt it. The citizens of this country used to be the most caring kind a decade ago. But why have questioning and doubts replaced the carefulness which the foreigners graded us so well? Is “lost decade” of stagnation the cause or is it the rise in crime rate and urbanization? Is it from the increase of competition resulting from the globalization? Or is it in me, writing something like this in the first place?

I can’t seem to find a place in this country…it doesn’t really mean that I would adapt better in the States where I spent most of my childhood in though. My ultimate goal is to live in the town I used to live, building a nice house and family. Will America stay the way I have it recorded in my memory? It’s always nice to have a goal, although there are numerous questions going along with mine… I don’t really know where this blabbering is going to lead, so I guess I’ll just end it right here.