free web tracker soliloquies: 12/04/2005 - 12/11/2005

soliloquies

so・lil・o・quy/- n. [C,U] a speech in a play in which a character talks to himself or herself, so that the audience know the character's thoughts.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

nightmare

Yesterday night, I had a nightmare. It was projected in a 3rd-person perspective.

The environment its scenario took place looked quite similar to my campus. There, "she" was walking with "him" with a big smile on her face. On the other side of the "screen", stood me. I know I have gotten through this whole crush thing, but for some reason, a strong sense of mortification went through me.

What's more, against my will like always, I saw her at Yokohama Station prior to class this afternoon. Whenever I wished I'd rendezvous with her in the past, I never did.Now I don't, but I do. How crappy is life? After sighting her, a lot of thoughts went through my mind continuously. Why?

Officially, I've forgotten all the feelings I've had toward her. I was unable to say anything to her in political science class today, although I had the chance to at least say hi. After her friend came, she blocked me out once and for all. Probably not on purpose, but I was unable to understand any of the topics they were discussing.

Conlusion? I have none. I know this is a dead end commitment and I'm not willing to put my effort in a state like this, but...so sad.