free web tracker soliloquies: 01/22/2006 - 01/29/2006


so・lil・o・quy/- n. [C,U] a speech in a play in which a character talks to himself or herself, so that the audience know the character's thoughts.

Friday, January 27, 2006


A lot of things that are normal to me are probably abnormal to other people. I've noticed this fact just recently from various noticable elements around me.

What is it that I have or lack that others have or lack? Answering this fundamental question may take years, decades or centuries...I may never reach the answer during this life.

Monday, January 23, 2006

another thought

Let me just say I had been studying as hard as I can, preparing for my autumn semester finals the past few days which prevented me from updating this blog. Thanks to that effort, I believe I was able to write answers with substantial content and an adequate volume for the exams I took today. Yay! Today's subjects were political science, juridical history and jurisprudence. 3 done, 6 more to go.

Anyway, there's this thought (again) that's whirling inside my mind again. Wherever I go, there seems to be a "gap". My conjecture could be completely off, but I strongly feel a significant difference in attitude between others and I. This gap could be the result of superiority or inferiority I have. However, deep within my heart, there lies this will that is desperately wanting my friends to interact with my more casually.

Besides that, I would like to know the cause of this difference. This isn't my first time this has happened to me. In fact, this has difference was noticeable everywhere I've been in the past, at least in Japan.

Is it my background as a returnee? Is it my behavior? Is it the way I dress? Is it because of what I posses? Is it my appearance? I know how I'm earnest at bottom and my character could be the main cause of this distinction, but it's not my intention to be associated this way...with a "gap".