free web tracker soliloquies: 07/18/2004 - 07/25/2004


so・lil・o・quy/- n. [C,U] a speech in a play in which a character talks to himself or herself, so that the audience know the character's thoughts.

Saturday, July 24, 2004

japanese summer

It wasn't too big of a deal but, I visited my grandparents for a night, to shop in the downtown of their hometown. I assume most people has this image in their minds that grandparents usually live in a place, rural or urban, that is located far from where their children live. However in my family's case, they live in this particular city in Tokyo; just an hour drive away.

5 years are about to pass since my family's return to Japan...yet, my image of Japanese summer still lays in Machida. When we lived in the States, we were granted a month-long return to Japan every other year. During our return, we stayed at my grandparents, since our house was lent. Since the season we were permitted to go was limited to summer, my vivid images of Japan then are still burnt in my mind. It may sound weird, but Japan was like a whole different world for me then. I remember being surprised about the cars driving on the left, instead of the right. The moments I had and observations I made in those returns were fabulous and family was welcomed by whoever we met, and I was "taken great care of" by my grandparents. I guess great memories are the most difficult ones to disappear. The future of this "image" depends on the amount of fabulous experiences I may have in the future...then, my image of Japan in summer, should be "updated" to the one I'm experiencing, or will experience in the future.

p.s. I've spent another...well whatever yen on these two goods. A "Skyumbrella" from MoMA, shown on the left and sunglasses designed by "Hugo Boss" on the right. Currently, I'm fine financially. What about next month...well, I guess I'll think about it next month. lol

Friday, July 23, 2004

the "midnight" zone

Before I head off to my grandparents, I would like to write down this...thought.

Night, is the most peculiar time period of the day...its unique environment with the silence, and its lack of luminosity makes me think of such irrelavant and unimportant matters to a degree, where it keeps on going deeper and deeper like a quicksand or a blackhole, which as a result, ripens another issue...although in most cases, these issues are exaggerated in term of desperateness, within my mind. The conclusions gained from these unpractical thoughts are often false and depressing. The time period in which this "phenomenon" often occurs, is around midnight. there any "psychological force" that is generated during the nighttime? If so, I would love to remove whatever matter that is causing this melancholy...a pill, an ointment, a shot, a vaccine...whatever! Its making me negative, and insane, simultaneously making me lose my confidence, which is insufficient in the first place. chagrin...pressure...dissatisfaction...distrust....oh, bullshit!!!

Thursday, July 22, 2004

a relatively active day

I was able to "build up" a relatively active day today, by giving myself objectives to accomplish. The only way to crush boredom, I believe is to make appointments yourself. So for today, I

A. made a visit to the city library, to find myself some more resources neccesary for the thesis.
B. went to the bookstore to get the application form and the textbook for the "Eiken" Level 1, which I'm planning on taking in October.
C.cycled around the beach to snap some photos, and to find the best location for the fireworks.

First, objective A. I knew that the city was rebuilding the library, but since I can't wait till its completion, I decided to go to the old one. My comment...small! Its size was comparable to the media center of our cute! The good part was that I was able to find myself additional books related to the thesis. It was like..."the little engine that could". lol

Secondly, objective B. There are 3 comparatively large bookstores in the downtown, and although I looked through all of these bookstores, I was not able to find a textbook compatible with level 1. Is it because of the location I live in, or is it the season? The application forms are accepted from 8/1, so a week or two will probably bring in those

The final objective, was the cycling. Today was a bit cooler, compared to past week. The reason I decided to go off to the sea was not only the weather, but also from the likeliness of my classmates' visit here on the 30th for the fireworks. I asked all of restaurants by the sea for their reservation status. Well I guess everyone has the same idea...I wasn't able to book any of the restaurants, since they were either full or not accepting reservations on the day of the fireworks. I was able to snap some nice pics though, which I pasted on along with today's post.

I'll be away until the 24th. See you on the 25th!

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

l'ete est ici

Summer vacation has begun. My first day...nothing! I was asleep up till 1 or 2 in the afternoon, and my scheduled plan for today, which was to go off to the beach, to do some reading/examination on my graduation thesis, was ruined from the gradual appearance of clouds. As a matter of fact, it did rain a bit in the afternoon, so it was a clever choice, although I wasn't able to accomplish anything today. I'll make this attempt again tomorrow, since the forecast seems fine for now. Another thing. In case my classmates come over to see the fireworks on the 30th, I'd better prepare for their arrival, by making a research on matters such as the location for the sighting. So far, I've been able to fill in plans for 22-25 of July. Hopefully, this habit will continue on, until the "back to school".

I've seen that many of my classmates have actually begun their graduation thesis...unbelievable. In my case, I haven't even read the minimal amount of resources I've gathered...I presume the road is rough ahead. I'm not sure whether I'll actually be able to "construct" proper Japanese, especially with the "kanjis" I must exercise in order for completion. Maybe I'm in a bind...better be more easy going, but not too much.

Other than the theses, I'll have to write a report on Japanese history, home economics, and work on the project I've planned on doing for Mathmatics. Some vague ideas are in my mind already for all of these assignments, but I must add them on with more specific and accurate information for realization. If possible, I would really like to finish them off before my visit to Bali. I'd better head off to libraries to collect resources on "Narita Airport", "Tokaido", and "New York"...see you there.

One last thing, my grades. I was not able to reach the goal I've set for this semester, and I'm pretty disappointed about it. My first steps toward my new goal set for the 2nd semester are these assignments given over the summer. I'll make an 120% effort into all of them, and will not repeat the regret I've had this semester...again.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

global warming...?

For one of our "culture festival" projects, our class's representative, Mina and I went to the faculty's room after class, and asked the native teachers' in our school for their participation today. The planned project is the "Chinese whispers" in Japanese, (hopefully) conducted by all of the native teachers in our school, which its aim is to check out whether or not the native teachers in our school are able to exercise and communicate in Japanese. We were able to bring in two of the teachers in today's negotiation, and also secured ourselves backup from Mr. L. He told us that he will inform the teachers via e-mail in advance, before the shootout planned in September.

Anyway, after we asked Mr. L. for his favor, we went over to Mr. G. and asked his help also. The explanation and the negotiation went well, and we were able to receive his help too. When we were about to leave after the explanation was finished, Mr. G. told me that I had 'strange colour', which I interpreted that I had pale complexion. I smiled back at him and answered that I may have sunburnt from yesterday's ballgame, but in my mind, I thought he had a point.

This summer, the weather is really off. It has been over 35C everyday, and it's really tough for me to handle. Also, the temperture gaps between outdoors and indoors are also causing me dullness. The Japanese call this symptom "natsubate", which is probably translated into something like "summer dullness". Another symptom of this "natsubate" is lack of appetite, which also fits in the condition I have now. My current complexion is probably...burnt, from yesterday's ballgame, red, from the heat, and pale, from the tiredness and dullness, resulting from the weather. In fact, I overslept on the Yokosuka Line today, and ended up in the station after the station I normally use. The photo today was taken there. When will autumn arrive? A.S.A.P., please...

fly away

Lenny Kravitz-"Fly Away"

I wish that I could fly
Into the sky
So very high
Just like a dragonfly

I'd fly above the trees
Over the seas in all degrees
To anywhere I please

Oh I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah

Oh I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah

Monday, July 19, 2004

end of their journey...

For the first time in my life, also likely going to be my last, I went to watch our baseball club's game in Yamato Hikichidai Fields today. The weather was sunny/partly cloudy, 35C, with a humidity of 70%. A practical summer day in Japan, which makes the best environment for the national high school baseball tournament, heading for Koushien. Our school was doing well for the past two games, winning a "called" game, twice in a row.

I was quite impressed by their game. The result was...unfortunate, but their defense was great. Well, it's an amatuer's comment, so it lacks reliability, was an unforgettable experience, even for me. Also, as a first timer, the cheering and its unique culture was very fresh for me, and I was able to enjoy, and inspire at the same time. I probably won't have much chance in joining this special event...but I think I was able to make another great memory of my high school age.

Last, but not least. Thank you guys, for a great game!!!!

Sunday, July 18, 2004

in a desperate need of...

Because of yesterday's "job", I've decided to re-setup my PC, reinstalling Windows XP and the applications. This procedure took a big role in extending my 4-year old PC's life. Now, my PC is working a bit nimble. Another influence of yesterday's job; it has promoted my demand for a new PC. I've been saying to myself that I have my parents' promise of buying me a new laptop PC, upon my recommendation/advancement into the faculty of my choice. 4-year old PCs, in my mind, are equivalent to 60 in human scale. It's time for retirement! The only element that is preventing the peaceful retirement of my DELL Dimension 4100 is fund, which is insufficent for the generation change.

I'm in a desperate need of CASH, and in a big quantity too. My allowance, which is 10000 yen/month is sufficent for my everyday life and clothes. The clothes that I usually buy are around 5000yen - 20000 yen a piece, so with "smart" management in place, I am able to afford them. However, in PC's case, since they cost around 100000 - 200000 yen, it'll take years for me to accomplish this goal.

So, I have been thinking about my neccesity to work for a while now and simultaneously, I have been searching though the classified ads, which comes in the papers unperiodically. Whenever I find something interesting, there's either one or both of these two requirements, which prevents me from calling them.

1. Must be a college student, older than 18.
2. Must work 4-5 times a week.

The fact that I was born in January automatically gets that job out of my list, since it's impossible for me to fraud my student ID. The second requirement is more loose, but realistically, it is impossible for me to work more than 2-3 times a week. Aren't there any job offerings, which accept high school students, let me work flexibly, and pay me 20000 yen a month? Not in this area, which brings me back to the McDonalds work I did over the winter. The problems are...I dislike the oiliness you have after making hamburgers, and their pay is comparably low. How should I deal with this rip work or not to work? Hmm...

p.s. Some good(?) news for God's sake! Since we weren't able to book ourselves a direct flight back from Bali, we are making a surprise visit to Singapore, for a day! After all, the location is different, but our trip south is extended a day and what's more, we are going to visit multiple nations! Hallelujah! lol